Tuesday, May 31, 2011

So I have a new goal to work toward.  Concerts.  I want to go see Seether, Three Days Grace, and (if they actually play this year) Theory of a Dead Man.  I want to be 110 by then.  It's about 2 weeks away.  And I'll need to at least maintain for like 4 days.  I'm hoping to lose more.  Food will be expensive and not so good.  I'm hoping to only eat twice a day during that week because you gotta be at the gates around 4 or 5 if you want a good spot.  So I will be eating like a brunch and supper or breakfast and a linner.  Something along those lines.

I consumed 910 calories yesterday.  No idea how many were burned.

I'm out of diet pop and I'm out of flavored water.  I can drink regular water or tea for 0 cal drinks now.  Kinda saddening.  Oh well.

Another QuickTrim pill today.  The one yesterday made me feel sick after like 5 or 10 minutes.  So I had to eat and didn't get to burn nearly as many calories as I wanted.  I ate an apple and felt better.  Technically, I'm supposed to wait 30 minutes before I eat once I take it.  It's like that with most if not all diet pills but I can't.  I'm going to guess that my stomach just can't handle it.  It's suggested that the pill is taken and then exercise and then eat but I can't manage to do that.  But once I ate yesterday I wasn't all that hungry for the rest of the day and I'm hoping that it boost my metabolism like it says it will.
So Skinny Legs, I haven't taken it enough to know if it works well, but I paid like $25 for the pills so I'm going to take them until I've given them a fair chance.  After I eat I feel pretty much fine so I can workout after I eat.  I'm hoping that my body get used to them and that in like a week I won't feel sick anymore.  The QuickTrim is supposed to suppress appetite and boost metabolism and give you energy (caffeine) and a bunch of stuff.  I'm willing to eat breakfast sooner than I would like if I lose weight quicker.  
And I didn't want to have to get married and keep it a secret.  I wanted to wait to get married and I wanted him to at least meet my parents before I married him.  He backed out of that last minute and things were bad from almost the beginning.  But I thought I loved him and I wasn't ready to never see him again.  If he didn't get married he would get deported back to Africa because he is from there.  I wish I could have had like an actual wedding and celebrated and everything but D didn't want anyone to know.  He kept promising that once he got his "permanence" as he called it he would get a good job and go to college and get his masters degree and we would have a good life and everything would fall into place and he said we would have a "grand" wedding.  Before I got married it sounded fine but now it doesn't.  I don't want to have a wedding after I'm already married.  I don't see the point.  It's just a waste of money and he seems to think that everything is going to be sooo much easier than it is.  If it was so easy why hasn't he already had his permanence and gotten his masters or at least working on it.  Because it's not easy.  I'm going to stop because I will go into a never-ending D rant.  I think I answered your questions

Ok so my dad left (finally) so I get to weigh myself.
I weigh 117-ish.

Texted with J last night.  Started out about whether I could get a divorce without anyone finding out or not and it turned into I can do anything stupid I want as long as I have fun.  But not cutting or OD'ing or anything along those lines.  I don't cut for fun but getting high can be but I'm afraid of getting high and ending up in the hospital again.  So he said ohh cmon {Kes}, would you not do those? For me?  and I said I suppose I could and then to repay me he has to get me drunk when he comes back and I think he wanted me to ask for sex?  Either way we are supposed to have sex when he comes back.  I can't tell if he likes me or just wants to be friends with benefits or what.  It was kinda weird because he had implied sex but wouldn't say it.  He said think more primal.  And I think he thought that I didn't ask for sex because I was married.  Or maybe he thought I didn't want to with him?  I'm not sure what he was thinking but he said well what do you want? Ik there's some things I guess I can't do b/c you're married.  So I'm guessing he thought that I didn't ask for sex because I'm married?  I'm not sure.  I just know I like him a lot more than I want to.  I miss him.  I haven't seen him for like a year and a half?  Last 2 times I saw him we had sex and I was dating my daughter's dad at that point.  Yeah I'm kind of a whore...Not bad.  I cheat is more like it.  I like texting J.  He's sweet and I had a little smile last night the whole time we were texting.  I think J likes me but I just wish I knew for sure.  

I think I've rambled enough.  QuickTrim and eat and exercise and maybe go fill out some job apps later?


It's the bad time of the month.  :(  At least I don't have the completely uncomfortable feeling this time.  And I'm not looking/feeling bloated so it's not that bad.  Hopefully I don't jinx myself and cause myself discomfort/crampiness/bloatedness.  And I haven't felt sick from the QuickTrim yet today.  I showered and I've had tea so I haven't been doing much.  I think I'll do a little exercising though.  Mostly crunches and things like that.  My tummy looks fairly flat for weighing 117.  :)  I've been doing a lot of ab exercises.


  1. I've always wanted to try QuickTrim, but I hate trying new pills without reading reviews and stuff first... but so far you seem to be feeling okay. So that's good.

    As for your hubby and J, wowza, what a mix-up. I mean, if you don't want to be with your husband, unless he's cheated on you, don't take the chance. You can be separated and still have fun with other guys. Or maybe you are? IDK. lol.

    Good luck with everything, I know life is difficult at our age. :(

  2. sounds like you're doing good :]

    boys are too much fun!

  3. Thanks for answering my questions hunnie!
    And I would have to agree that when you're young and pretty like us you can do anything you want!
    Good luck!

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  5. i sent you an email instead, kes :)
    xo, ulla