Monday, May 30, 2011

I'm not sure were to start.  My dad is here so I haven't been able to weigh myself.  I hope he leaves for some reason or goes outside and does something so I can weigh myself.  I woke up at 7:50-7:55-ish this morning.  I was expecting to wake up at 7.  Since today most likely will be uneventful it really doesn't matter.  I just normally wake up closer to 7.  But I'm usually asleep before midnight.  I was laying in bed away for 3 hours.  I was too hot and not comfortable and blah, blah, blah.  And I was texting a little.  Mostly J but I sent D like 2 texts and he sent me like 2 texts.  I quit texting because my phone told me the battery was low.  My parents would have killed me for going downstairs at midnight to charge my phone so I turned it off.  So my phone is charging now.  And I'm going to take the QuickTrim today.  Like real soon I'll take it.  I need to exercise pretty soon after taking it so that I can get that done before I feel sick.  I'm only taking one so I may not feel sick this time but just in case I want to exercise and eat when I get done.  I'm supposed to be on a low carb diet while taking them but I'm going to do low sugar.  Fiber is a carb and I would like to have a decent amount of fiber to keep me full and such.  My fat jeans are fairly loose.  About like normal now.  To think they used to fit when I was in high school. Maybe I am thinner than I think.  My body looks completely different now that I've had a baby though.  My belly fat just wants to hang over.  I want a flat tummy.  I want a thigh gap.  I will get it.  I have two female cousins who are super skinny.  Like size 0 or 00 jeans skinny.  One is about my height and one is a little taller.  Super skinny.  Like thinspo skinny.  I was wondering at first if maybe either of them had an ED.  Like they are both probably underweight but then watching how much they would eat I'm guessing they have like super metabolisms and one of them (maybe both?) smokes.  So maybe she/they only eat 2 or 3 times a day and maybe they are fairly active.  I just wish I was that skinny.  I should tell you how I saw my cousins yesterday.  My goal had been to eat as little as possible.  It rained a lot.  My uncle was supposed to have a cookout.  I forgot about it and thought it would be cancelled.  Nope.  He had it and my options were go or spend the day with my mother at home.  So I went.  And was forced to eat.  So I had a cheeseburger and some macaroni and cheese and some fruit salad stuff.  So I had a lot of calories yesterday.  And that cookout was soooo fucking boring.  Awkward conversations with family I rarely see and since I rarely see them there is nothing to really talk about.  I spent about 3 hours listening to my dad, one of my uncles, and my step-uncle (he is my aunt's second husband and I refuse to give him the label of uncle because I don't like him - he's just weird and never listens or remembers anything and don't even get me started on his kids....) talk about golf and trucks and fixing trucks and cleaning pheasants.  I wanted to walk home but I didn't want to be rude and I didn't want to be the first to leave.  So I ate too many calories yesterday, but I'm hoping that today I can do a lot better.  And I'm pretty sure that is all of yesterday's happenings.
And now to respond to Gianna - I do live with my parents.  My parents don't know I'm married.  D (my husband - obviously knows) and J are the only people I know personally who know I'm married.  Most don't even know that I was ever dating D or anything.  D doesn't want anyone to know we are married.  He would kill me if he knew J knew.  But I know J wouldn't tell anyone because that would create drama and J hates drama.

Ok so I'm not going to be able to weigh myself.  I doubt it anyway.  Time for a QuickTrim pill and cleaning and then some food.


1 comment:

  1. I'm very curious about your quick trim, how well does it work if it makes you feel sick? wouldn't you rather feel good and be able to workout more? Or is it and appetite suppressant?
    About the who secret marriage thing, its awfully romantic and fun but wouldn't you want to celebrate with your family if you love someone?
    I'm also the type to elope so I was just kind of wondering about your situation.