Saturday, May 14, 2011

I have 16 followers! :)

I can't weigh myself because my parents are around.  They would ask too many questions and probably yell at me for my weight being too low or something even though I'm in the normal range.  I think I look heavier than I am.  But that's part of an ED isn't it?  So I had been doing good yesterday.  I waned to binge again but didn't.  I had a Greek yogurt (140) and some chips (about 110 - I had 10 chips and each chip is 10.67 cals).  And I had some asparagus (30 cal or less).  And I had washed 3 loads of laundry, dried, folded, and put away 2 of them and had the 3rd in the dryer and the dishes washed when my mom got home.  So she finished the 3rd load.  I tried to keep myself busy.  And then we went to town.  I had bought a spare key for the car but it doesn't work. So I went and the guy couldn't fix it.  So he wrote on the receipt  for a refund.  And then about 2 hours later I realized I was only refunded $10 out of $60.  So I had to go back and my mother was being a grouchy bitch the whole time.  Bitching because she had to pee and she needed something to drink and she's tired and sore and blah blah blah.  And we took supper home.  Pizza.  Great.  No, not great.  Terrible.  I had thin crust with tomato and provolone.  I ate about 2/3 of it.  And like 3 breadsticks.  So I probably ate about 800 cals of pizza and 350 maybe of breadsticks.  So I had like 1500 cal.  I'm probably up 2 pounds today because of it.  I did a little walking yesterday but not nearly enough to make up for all of those calories.  I'll probably end up eating the rest of my pizza today.  That'll be like 400 cals.  I'm going to end up eating way too much today.  Again.  I need my own place so I can keep only healthy foods around.  Then I wouldn't have anything bad to binge on.  A binge would end up being like 200 cal at the most.  I could lose weight easier then.  Last night my mom said that I was really skinny.  No.  I'm not.  Have you seen my stomach?  No you haven't because if you did you would realize that I need to lose like 20 pounds.  It's fat and flabby and it jiggles.  I want to be able to jump and have nothing jiggle afterwards.  And my thighs have no gap whatsoever.  Most of the pants I wear are a size 7.  I need to be a size 3 at the most.  I doubt I'll ever fit into a 0.  I think my hip bones are too wide for that.  Baby = wide hip bones.  The good thing about not having insurance is my mom can't make me go to a doctor to see why I'm so "skinny" or whatever.  The doctor would just probably say I'm at a healthy weight and probably have a high metabolism from eating healthy or some crap like that.  He would never know that I don't eat much.  I'm to the point where I don't call or text D first ever.  I used to only if I had something semi-important.  But now it's never.  And we talk for maybe 5 min a day.  Anyway I've got to go.



  1. I wish I lived on my own too. I would barely keep any food in the house and only healthy foods. No binge foods allowed.
    I'm sure you didn't gain much (if any). Don't stress it.

  2. I also can't wait to live on my own. I crave the freedom of being able to eat nothing at all. This summer, I'll be able to do that! Don't be too hard on yourself, tomorrow is a new day and you can start fresh! Good luck, stay strong!