Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I've eaten way to much.  I don't care.  I'm going to be eating very little until lunch Thursday and then go back to eating very little.  And by very little I mean 1 bowl of cereal for breakfast and one for lunch and whatever supper is.  I will purge if I can.  I will exercise.  I want to watch myself waste away.  I hate the way everything in my life is.  Since weight and eating are the only things I have the power to control, I will be in complete control.  My exercise plan:
500 crunches
250 squats
250 lunges (each leg)
250 leg lifts (each leg)
50 push-ups
-Whatever else I come up with-

Each bowl of cereal will be less then 200 calories and supper will hopefully be less than 400.  So I will hopefully consume less then 80 cal a day and I can hopefully burn 300 cal a day.  If my sister isn't around I will do cardio. I want to lose as much weight as possible as quickly as possible.  I wish I could move out.  I can't stand living with my parents any longer.  My mother is a complete bitch.  I want to get out of here.  I would rather be homeless than live here.  I need to lose weight so I can get a job and move out.  I hate life and I want to die but I really don't want to die fat.  And right now I'm too fat to die.  I need to lose at least 20 pounds.  And it's almost summer.  And I'm too fat to wear shorts.  Too fat to be able to go out in public wearing anything summery and I hate being fat.  I can't deal with everything the way it is.  I must make it change.


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