Friday, May 13, 2011
Blogger had me seriously pissed off for like about 20 hours. But anyway I thought yesterday was good. According to the scale it wasn't. I'm 116. Not in between 115 and 116 like I was yesterday and the day before. It's 116. I ate less than 850 calories. And I walked for over 5 miles at a speed of around 3.5 miles/hour. And did some cleaning. I shouldn't have gained anything. I should have lost. Or at least stayed the same. I don't understand it. Obviously I have to eat less and exercise more. But 850 isn't a lot of calories. And after all of the walking and cleaning and such I should have netted somewhere around 600. I should have lost something. I had whole wheat pasta twice yesterday. It's healthy so it shouldn't have caused me to gain. I only had 120 cal of noodles each time and a little less than 40 cal of sauce each time. And I had broccoli. I ate some Kix. I had Greek yogurt. It's all healthy. So why did I gain? I ate healthy food and ate less than 850 cal. I shouldn't have gained. I really shouldn't have. I had a large cup of green tea. It was like 2 cups worth. I fought a binge and won. I really wanted to binge and purge, but I didn't want to because it's unhealthy and I probably wouldn't have gotten all of it up and gained. So I drank tea and I didn't binge. I didn't purge because there's no point in purging green tea. I mean it's 0 cal so the most that would happen would be bloating maybe. So I really shouldn't have gained. I don't know what I did wrong. I really wish I knew. I've had Greek yogurt today. I'm going to put some cereal in a baggy and say I ate some cereal too. I have to eat less today. A lot less. Like 500 cal seems like too much. And I've got a bunch of cleaning to do. I've done some. I have to see a definite 115 by Monday. I really want to see 114 though. I feel like a complete failure. I walk over 5 miles and I eat healthy and I eat a fairly small amount and I gain. I'm a fucking failure. Anyone else would have lost. And anyone else would have lose like 1 full pound. I was wanting like half a pound loss. But failure me gains. I hate this.