Blogger had me seriously pissed off for like about 20 hours.  But anyway I thought yesterday was good.  According to the scale it wasn't.  I'm 116.  Not in between 115 and 116 like I was yesterday and the day before.  It's 116.  I ate less than 850 calories.  And I walked for over 5 miles at a speed of around 3.5 miles/hour.  And did some cleaning.  I shouldn't have gained anything.  I should have lost.  Or at least stayed the same.  I don't understand it.  Obviously I have to eat less and exercise more.  But 850 isn't a lot of calories.  And after all of the walking and cleaning and such I should have netted somewhere around 600.  I should have lost something.  I had whole wheat pasta twice yesterday.  It's healthy so it shouldn't have caused me to gain.  I only had 120 cal of noodles each time and a little less than 40 cal of sauce each time.  And I had broccoli.  I ate some Kix.  I had Greek yogurt.  It's all healthy.  So why did I gain?  I ate healthy food and ate less than 850 cal. I shouldn't have gained.  I really shouldn't have.  I had a large cup of green tea.  It was like 2 cups worth.  I fought a binge and won.  I really wanted to binge and purge, but I didn't want to because it's unhealthy and I probably wouldn't have gotten all of it up and gained.  So I drank tea and I didn't binge.  I didn't purge because there's no point in purging green tea.  I mean it's 0 cal so the most that would happen would be bloating maybe.  So I really shouldn't have gained.  I don't know what I did wrong.  I really wish I knew.  I've had Greek yogurt today.  I'm going to put some cereal in a baggy and say I ate some cereal too.  I have to eat less today.  A lot less.  Like 500 cal seems like too much.  And I've got a bunch of cleaning to do.  I've done some.  I have to see a definite 115 by Monday.  I really want to see 114 though.  I feel like a complete failure.  I walk over 5 miles and I eat healthy and I eat a fairly small amount and I gain.  I'm a fucking failure.  Anyone else would have lost.  And anyone else would have lose like 1 full pound.  I was wanting like half a pound loss.  But failure me gains.  I hate this.

~Kes