Tuesday, February 2, 2016


My weight hasn't changed much. Although a period had a bit to do with that. I'm in the process of moving back in with my mother. It's good and bad. A lot of changes are going to be made. I'm going to try to swich jobs. I'm going to try to go to counseling. I'm going to try to get out of debt. I'm going to try to take some tests for college credit and then try to go to college. A lot of this should've happened already. But I was in a relationship that was holding me back. I thought it would be like a slingshot and pull me back just to fly me quickly forward and a lot of good things would happen. But nothing good was coming. It was just holding me back and making me miserable. We fought all the time. I wanted to be an adult and sit down and make a budget and figure out who would pay for what and how to get debts paid off and how to move forward. He wouldn't. I couldn't get any closer to any of my goals. Now he's gone and already seeing someone else. I honestly think something was going on between them before. He was/is a very active snapchat user and once brought up how I would feel if someone sent him nudes. So I think she probably was sending him nudes and they were probably flirting for a while. There's almost 10 years age difference so I really don't think it'll work out in the long run. I am going to use my single-dom to improve myself. And I deserve to be with someone who encourages me to be the best me that I can be and not hold me back. Time to start improving.


Saturday, December 19, 2015


It's been a stressful however long it's been since my last post. My weight is up and I'm not sure why. I really hope I'm not getting my period and it's just from stress and not eating right. It's been stressful because of work and Christmas coming up and birthdays. And not having money and wanting to do so many things and wanting to buy so many things for other people. I'm hoping after Christmas is over I'm less stressed and I can have more free time to exercise and cook healthy low calorie foods for me. I need to appear like I'm being healthy and eating enough calories. After the new year I should have plenty of time to exercise after work on Mondays and Tuesdays because I should be getting off work at 2 pm. I'll have time to rest after work and even nap first if I wanted. My life is very much not exciting right now. I'll probably start looking for a new job after the start of the new year also. I need out of debt and I need to lose weight. I can't believe I let myself get this big......


Saturday, December 5, 2015

I Don't Know What to Title This

I'm so unsure what to say. It's so depressing to see so many blogs gone. Some of my favorites are gone. Part of me wants to unfollow every inactive blog I follow and start over. But part of me hopes some will come back. Part of me wants to read the blogs that are inactive that still exist before unfollowing. I'm just so unsure. It's a bit overwhelming. If anyone can point me to active blogs that I may not be following that would be wonderful. I think there's like 3 active/semi-active blogs that aren't truck advertisement blogs in my feed. I would like something new to read while trying to clean out my blogger account of deleted blogs and such. That will take some time. I'm not sure of what else to say right now... I guess goodnight unless it's morning, then good morning. I think I'm gonna take some pills and go to bed.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

3 years later

Happy thanksgiving. It's been over 3 years. Wow. I tried to log on but I couldn't figure out which email/password I used. It was saved on the computer I haven't really used in forever. It was broke for over a year so I bought a new one. In those 3 years a lot has happened and at the same time not much has happened. It seems like the community this place used to be has kind of largely fallen apart? Disappeared? Moved elsewhere? My dad passed away in September 2013. I totaled a car. I dated several guys. I was with a guy for about 2 years and that kind of fell apart recently. I honestly think he is dealing with too much stress and refusing to do anything about any of it. He cannot change his dad but he can try harder to budget and get out of debt so he can move out. He is slowly turning into his dad. A fat lazy slob. We used to go to parks and hike and now he can't even walk for 10 minutes without being winded or saying his feet or knees hurt. I've gained quite a bit of weight. I'm trying to get rid of it but it was hard with the lazy boyfriend who only wanted pizza, pasta, mountain dew, and chocolate milk. We'll see how losing weight goes now. The question is, should I come back to this blog or use my current one?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

So i am starting a new blog with aa under a new profile since its the two of us doing it. Its diet and exercise related and mma training related. Ill post a link when we start it and i cant link on my phone anyway. And i think im gonna start a new personal blog with the same profile. I just feel i need a new start. Im not going to delete this one though. Ill post a link to it too when i make it and am on a computer.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I think I might start over blogging.  Like make a new one.  Quit using this one.  I've just not been using this one as much as I would like and I would like a new one.  One more towards my goal of a featherweight (105.1-115 lbs) MMA fighter although I would prefer bantamweight (95.1ish-105 lbs).  I don't know the low weight for bantam.  I just know 105.  Because 103 would be lovely for me.  I'm gonna think about it.  I'll post a link if I make a new one and follow back those who follow that blog.