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It's the first of the month.  A new month.  A good time for a new start.  I'm sick of bouncing up and down with my weight.  I have 15 days until the first concert.  I have 15 days to lose about 7 lbs.  At least according to yesterday's weight (can't weigh until my dad leaves which will be in about an hour from now so yeah... I'll weigh before this is posted).  It's gonna be tough but I think it's possible.  Restrict and exercise.  And drink lots of 0 cal drinks to feel full and to keep from getting dehydrated and such things.  And most likely start taking 2 QuickTrims.  Not at once.  One in the morning and one in the afternoon like say 2 pm?

I saw a "friend" yesterday.  She was with her boyfriend.  She looked at me and she had this look on her face.  I think she either forgot I existed or thought I would be fatter (the last time she saw me I was overweight) or something.  I gave her a wave and continued on.

Ate quite a bit.  Not sure how many calories.  Probably don't want to know.  I did some walking around/shopping and ab exercises.  Probably not enough to even everything out.  I probably gained.  Don't know yet though.

I bought some caffeine-free Xenadrine.  Not too sure why except they were $9 for 60 pills.  For $9 I'll buy em.  Normally they are $18 and I wouldn't have bought them for $18 because they don't have caffeine and I already have diet pills.  But I figured I have $9 so why not?

My sister came back from working in Iowa.  Not sure how long she's staying.  She usually only stays one night but she might stay two.  So she might leave later today or she might leave tomorrow.  I don't know.  I just don't want her around because then it becomes difficult to not eat and exercise and stuff.  I can't do cardio when she's around and I need to do cardio.

D needs to come back to give me money so I can get a concert ticket and pay my phone and get gas in the car and yeah...  I'm not broke but if I do all of those things with the money I have now I will be broke.  And D owes me money.  And that is about the only thing love-wise that makes sense...  I'm like 97% sure that J likes me.  But not sure exactly how much.  But I'm with D.  At least for now and D won't really talk on the phone much and when we do he either doesn't listen or we're fighting.  So yeah...  It's a little (lot) complicated right now...  But since I've been talking to J my mood has improved.  When was the last time I had a rambling post about how I want to die and cut and everything like that?  It was before I was talking to J regularly.  So yeah...  Not sure what to do.  I need to have a long conversation with D about a lo of things.  But since phone conversations never work out, it will have to wait until he comes back to visit....

My dad left and I weighed myself.  5 times actually.  I needed to make sure that the number was right.  115.5-ish  I ate like 1500+ calories yesterday and I was 117 yesterday.  Now I'm down 1.5-ish lbs.  That means a) I was bloated yesterday b) I burned a lot of calories and it just didn't seem like a lot because I was shopping for mos of it c) the QuickTrim pills are working d) my metabolism is amazing (which I think would be from the QuickTrim although eating a lot more could have given my metabolism a boost but I would think my body would store anything it isn't used to as fat at least until it's had more calories that it's used to for a few days) or e) I sweated out 1.5-ish lbs of sweat.  All are somewhat possible.  1.5 lbs is a lot of sweat though.  I'm going to guess it is a combination of things.

I think that is all of the happenings/ramblings of today.  I would take pictures but I can't since my sister is here. If she leaves I will.  And post them probably tomorrow.  Maybe... A picture post should be coming soon as long as I don't balloon out to 120 again...

The letter "T" isn't working too well and I write words and the T doesn't show up and I have to go back and fix it.  I may have not seen it in a few spot so there may be typos.  But it's really really annoying.

~Kes


I just decided to look and see if Hulu had any exercise videos (look under health and wellness) and there are!  I'm sooo excited!  Now I don't have to buy DVD's and I can exercise in my room and it's free!  YAY!  I may post some links tomorrow to the ones I like.