Monday, June 13, 2011

I unfollowed some blogs that hadn't posted in 2 months or longer. :(  I figured that was a fair length of time.  And then I found some more to follow. :)

I've been finding and saving thinspo so I will probably start posting some thinspo.  I've saved over 100 pictures so far.  And on Tumblr there were links to some Insanity fitness videos.  I may try 1 out later.  It's a Chinese website though.  So there's like some commercials in Chinese (I saw one thing in English) and Chinese writing.  o_O

This week will be somewhat crazy.  My mom has taken some days off.  She took Wednesday, Friday, and Monday.  She has the weekend off but she usually has weekends off.  So I doubt I can weigh myself those days.  It will probably drive me insane.  I like knowing how much I weigh.  Today I weigh 117.  :(  I binged sort of yesterday.  D pissed me off so I ate and I would have purged but I didn't know when my parents would get home.  And then my mother had to go to town to get cigarettes and she decided that she would just take the little Chunky for a car ride and get him ice cream.  Which resulted in my mom, my dad, and me all getting ice cream too.  As if I hadn't had enough calories.  I couldn't say no.  She would start bitching.  I need to exercise so I can get this fat off of me.

The fatty cat named Grinch is sleeping in my room.  She's snoring.  I was going to work out in my room after I read blogs but that would mean waking her up.  I may just find somewhere else to exercise.  Maybe try an exercise DVD downstairs.  And I should take the little dog for a walk afterwards.

I may post thinspo later.  Or wait until tomorrow.  I'm cold and I need to work out so I can get warm and burn off calories and lose fat.  And maybe post links to the Insanity videos.  I need to clean my room too.   Or at least get the trash out of it.  I can't really clean it.  I have no where to put things and my mother is a bitch.  I need to fill out job apps too.  I need a job.  I doubt I'll find one.   I'm supposed to be trying to be more optimistic and that wasn't very optimistic.  Oops...  Oh well.  I'm a pessimist and it's always been that way.  I made a deal with J that if he honestly answered a couple questions I would make an honest attempt at being less negative.  He answered my questions.  He did a shitty job at it and gave me a backhanded compliment.  (Backhanded compliments are compliments and insults at the same time - he said I was smart when I try to be - meaning I'm stupid most of the time but if I try I can be smart.)  So yeah.  I'm making a shitty attempt for shitty answers.  I don't remember how much I mentioned yesterday but I know I mentioned part of it in my J rant.  So yeah that's what started it.  I think I should go exercise now.  I'm cold.  I'll finish reading blogs and things later.  I gotta get warm and sweat.  And I think I'm out of important things to say.  And unimportant things too.



  1. I promise you will LOVE Insanity. You can [illegally] download them off of a Torrent site. That's what I did and my videos are amaziiiing.

    I don't understand why your parents care if you're trying to lose weight. You're married and it's YOUR body, right? I think it's unfair that you're scared even just to weigh yourself!

  2. :/ Sorry about the binge. Just remember, tomorrow is a new day to make more changes.

    Btw, TUMBLR?! Do you have an account?

    I have a link to mine on my blog. I'm always looking for new people from the blog circle to follow.

    Much love, xoxox.