Ended up depressed again. Like worse than last time. I'm not going to Theory of a Deadman because I'm like that depressed. I cried for like 2 hours. I binged and purged. I feel somewhat better. I think a good run/walk with the little Chunky dog is in order. And then maybe some more exercising. I think I'll tell my parents my stomach started hurting after I ate supper or something when they ask why I didn't go. I don't like Theory of a Deadman that much anyway. I really wish I could be back on antidepressants. I really wish I had a job so I could maybe have a chance to get on some again. I found out tonight that D doesn't give a fuck about me at all. He doesn't even care a little bit. I wish I knew what was making me so depressed all of the sudden. I know it isn't my period or anything like that unless it wants to fuck with me 2 weeks early. It usually prefers to fuck with me by being late so I freak out thinking I'm pregnant for a week or whatever. If I could I would go back to a psych ward. Just not the first one I went to. That place was hell. But if I could afford it I would go to one. My life is shit and it keeps managing to get worse. I need some sort of magic pill to make it all better.