Ended up depressed again.  Like worse than last time.  I'm not going to Theory of a Deadman because I'm like that depressed.  I cried for like 2 hours.  I binged and purged.  I feel somewhat better.  I think a good run/walk with the little Chunky dog is in order.  And then maybe some more exercising.  I think I'll tell my parents my stomach started hurting after I ate supper or something when they ask why I didn't go.  I don't like Theory of a Deadman that much anyway.  I really wish I could be back on antidepressants.  I really wish I had a job so I could maybe have a chance to get on some again.  I found out tonight that D doesn't give a fuck about me at all.  He doesn't even care a little bit.  I wish I knew what was making me so depressed all of the sudden.  I know it isn't my period or anything like that unless it wants to fuck with me 2 weeks early.  It usually prefers to fuck with me by being late so I freak out thinking I'm pregnant for a week or whatever.  If I could I would go back to a psych ward.  Just not the first one I went to.  That place was hell.  But if I could afford it I would go to one.  My life is shit and it keeps managing to get worse.  I need some sort of magic pill to make it all better.

~Kes