Thursday, June 16, 2011

Ended up depressed again.  Like worse than last time.  I'm not going to Theory of a Deadman because I'm like that depressed.  I cried for like 2 hours.  I binged and purged.  I feel somewhat better.  I think a good run/walk with the little Chunky dog is in order.  And then maybe some more exercising.  I think I'll tell my parents my stomach started hurting after I ate supper or something when they ask why I didn't go.  I don't like Theory of a Deadman that much anyway.  I really wish I could be back on antidepressants.  I really wish I had a job so I could maybe have a chance to get on some again.  I found out tonight that D doesn't give a fuck about me at all.  He doesn't even care a little bit.  I wish I knew what was making me so depressed all of the sudden.  I know it isn't my period or anything like that unless it wants to fuck with me 2 weeks early.  It usually prefers to fuck with me by being late so I freak out thinking I'm pregnant for a week or whatever.  If I could I would go back to a psych ward.  Just not the first one I went to.  That place was hell.  But if I could afford it I would go to one.  My life is shit and it keeps managing to get worse.  I need some sort of magic pill to make it all better.



  1. I love your thinspo :D Thanks

  2. Oh, Kes. :(
    I am sorry to hear that you are so depressed.
    If it helps, you are not alone.
    I am right there with you. :(
    But you know what?
    We are both strong, and we will both get through this.
    I am here for you if you need anything at all.
    If you ever want to just talk, shoot me an email.
    Much love being sent your way.
    Hang in there. <3

  3. Try and stay strong. I know life can be shit, but don't waste the life in you by not going out and trying to live.

  4. I can relate entirely, when i'm feeling that down i miss the wards too.
    But it's nicer being out, its freer. No ones scrutinizing what you do out of one, or at least not nearly in the same way.
    Don't let others ruin your days, they should mean nothing if they compromise your happiness. You should be the most important person to you x