Zzyzx Road - Stone Sour

I don't know how else to put this
It's taken me so long to do this
I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body's curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I'm still afraid

Propped up by lies and promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe its time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through

Tell me I should stick around for you
Tell me I could have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I get to go home in one week
But I leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry

I'm following suit and directions
I crawl up inside for protection
I'm told what to do and I don't know why

I'm over existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family
I'm ready to die in obscurity
'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
You still don't think I'm going see this through

Tell me I'm a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still to tired to care and I gotta go

Oh yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah, yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Go home

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

I'm gonna disappear.  That's all there is to it.  I need to figure things out. I don't know if I'll be back or not.  If I come back, I don't know if I'll be Kes or not.  I don't think I want to be Kes anymore.  I'm not sure I like the name.  It's not mine.  I don't like my name either.  I may still read and comment, once some things are figured out (although, if I change my name, it may make things a little confusing...).  I've got a lot of stuff I should do.  A lot of stuff I need to think about.  I need to focus on getting out of here more than this blog.  If I don't get out of here, I will end up killing myself.  It's as simple as that.  I can't deal with all of this.  I have to find a way out.  Again.  And hopefully it won't lead me back to this place.  Like last time...

~Kes