Why?

I was doing almost ok.  I had eaten 400 calories and it was like 2 pm.  And then I ate a brownie.  So add another 300 calories.  And then I decided it would be a good idea to get out of the house.  My sister's birthday is Sunday so I figured it would be a good time to go get her something and hang out with my boyfriend.  So that's what I did.  And while I was with him, I got hungry.  I wanted pizza.  So we got pizza.  I bought two.  One for me and one for him.  He eats a lot so I figured he would be able to eat a whole pizza by himself.  Which he did.  And he ate two pieces of mine.  But mine was thin crust and cut in those little squares, so he really didn't eat that much of mine.  And I finished my pizza.  So 1500 calories added on to the 700 so 2200 calories yesterday. WTF?!  WHY?!  Why couldn't I have stopped at half of the pizza like I usually do?  So since I ate enough calories for 3 or 4 days, I'm going to not eat until supper tonight, which I will be forced to eat with my parents.  I'm only allowing 85 calories of liquids.  So that's like one glass of milk and like 5 diets or maybe a little juice in water to give it flavor or something.  Hopefully I can get by with eating 250 cals or less for supper.  I would love it if I could get away with liquid fasting all day.  And I plan on doing the same thing tomorrow but upping the cals to 170 so I can have 2 cups of milk and 10 extra cals for like flavored water or something.  I should weigh myself to day and then again on Monday.  I probably won't be able to this weekend.  My parents will probably be around.  Sometimes I just hate myself.  I should have purged last night.  Stupid, stupid, stupid me!

So some good news.  I just weighed myself.  It's an analog scale (which I hate and when I move out I'm buying myself a digital scale) and the arrow thing was right next to the 120 mark.  So I'm like 120.5 or something.  I was floating somewhere between 122 and 123 for the longest time.  I weighed myself 2 days ago and that's where I was.  I was going to weigh myself yesterday but I never got the chance.  Someone was always around.  Maybe I can get down to 119 by Monday.  I hope the pizza doesn't make my weight go back to 122-123 because I was stuck there for like 3 weeks.  If I end up back there I'll probably be stuck there for even longer.  Ok so I have to get ready for work.  If the weather is nice after work (which I doubt) I might go for a very long walk afterwards.  There's hope yet.

~Kes