120

I now weigh 120.  I was really hoping for 119.  But at least it's still a loss.  Only one pound in two days.  I've had 200 calories so far today.  I had 1 cup of cereal with 3/4 cup of milk.  I used to think that I always put more than a cup of cereal in my bowl because I would pour it in the bowl and now measure it.  I was surprised how full the bowl was.  I used 3/4 cup of skim milk because I like milk and 1/2 cup seems like such a small amount to me.  And it made 200 calories that way.  The cereal was a Kashi GoLean kind with 13 grams of protein and 10 grams of fiber.  It had 140 calories in 1 cup and 3/4 cup of skim milk is 60 calories.  So I figured I'd eat 200 calories and see how long it will last me.  I would like to stay under 800 calories today.  I worked for 6 1/2 hours yesterday.  Hopefully burned a few hundred calories.  I would like to weigh 117 by Thursday, but I don't think that will happen.  I would have to lose like a pound a day.  I think I'm going to start a load of laundry and take the dog outside to potty and fill out some job applications.  I really hate my job.  I like the amount of exercise I get (sort of) but I hate the work.  I hate how I'm just off in a room and never see any one or talk to any one or anything.  And I'm always getting bitched at because I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try.  I wish I could just quit, but I can't until I find another job.  FML.  I just want the number on the scale to go down.  It must go down.  That's the most important thing.

Side note.  I just remembered what my mother said last night to me.  My arms are getting big.  BIG?! WTF?! Stupid job making my arms into the Hulk's.  I'm going to turn into a fucking monster.  I'm going to look like she-man with arms stronger than most guys.  I really really need to find another job.  I don't want muscular arms.  I want thin fragile looking arms.  UGH!  I have to lose like 3 inches off of my arms now.  UGH! FML. FML.FML.FML.FML.

~Kes