Sunday, April 10, 2011


I said earlier that I was going to try to post pictures so here are some pictures.  And yes, I know, I'm not skinny and I'm not beautiful.  I'm still just fat and ugly.  I'll be skinny when I lose about 20 more pounds and I'll be beautiful probably like never...but being skinny will sort of make up for it.  Sort of.

So me at my HW:

Yeah, not pretty.  Well, pretty fat I guess if you think the word pretty should be used.  But honestly, pretty should never go with the words fat and ugly.  Or anything else along those lines.  In my search to find my fat pictures (which there are not many of) I found a picture from the day before I had my baby.  My stomach was huge.  Like I should have had triplets.  Not one or two but three babies because my stomach was so huge.

Like I said, my belly was fucking huge.  My face isn't as fat in my pregnant picture as it is in the other pictures.   

Anyway, I think I'll skip the me at 123-125 because it's kinda close to where I am now.  I know, bruises and stretch marks - eww - no one wants to see that, but it makes it easier for me to gauge my progress if there isn't a bunch of clothing hiding my fat.

So, me at 119:

I need to lose more.  Quite a bit more.  I need a gap between my thighs.  I need that belly of mine to go away.  I need to lose more weight.  I need my hip bones to show.  I need my rib bones to show.  I'm getting there.  It doesn't look like 35 lbs difference to me, but it is.

I went over my calories allowance.  I ate some ice cream cake.  I really don't think I ate a serving worth.  But it was probably 300 calories worth.  So now I must burn off like 300+ calories.  I might burn off 150 tonight and burn off like 500 tomorrow.  I don't work so I can restrict easily.  A diet for breakfast and gum and water for lunch maybe.  Not sure but I'm going to stay under 750.  I might go to Iowa.  I can avoid eating easier that way.  My parents will just assume I ate and leave me alone.  I could probably do a liquid fast all day, but I don't know that I want to.  Any way, I have calories to burn, then probably go to bed.


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