My parents got the date messed up and aren't going to a church thing tonight.  It's next week.  Damn.  So I will have to come up with another way to avoid eating.  I don't want to go to Iowa because I'm almost broke.  I have like $24 and I don't want to have to buy more gas until I get paid on Monday.  I had to buy gas last time I was in Iowa.  I didn't manage to exercise for 2 hours like I said I was going to.  Idk but I just couldn't.  I couldn't even go for an hour.  I don't really want to work today.  I need to weigh myself yet.  I don't want to.  I'm afraid I'll be back to 119.  I probably will be.  I have to cut 3500 calories to lose a pound, but I can gain 1 by eating like 1500 calories.  Shouldn't I have to eat 3500 calories to gain a pound?  Apparently I don't.  I weighed myself.  I'm back to 119.  DAMMIT!  I think less then 200 calories for breakfast and lunch and no snacks.  Supper will probably end up being 500 calories.  So 900 or less calories and if I manage to exercise, I can probably get a net of around 500.  So 140 calories of cereal and a diet for breakfast.  I got it when I weighed myself.  I want to see 115 by Monday, but I doubt it will happen.  I wonder how much weight I need to lose to have a flat stomach and a thigh gap.  I'll probably have to be underweight.  Hopefully I'll have it when I weigh 110.  I shouldn't go much lower than 115 while I'm living with my parents though.  But hopefully I won't be living here much longer.  Like a month?  I don't think I'll finish my cereal.  It seems like a lot.  It was 1 cup and it like filled the bowl I put it in.  It looked like such a huge amount.  I've eaten less than half and I'm like full.  But the diet is probably what did it.  Well, enough of my ramblings again.  I'm off to get ready for work and make some 0 calorie strawberry lemonade stuff.

~Kes