Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I didn't follow my meal plan.  About 3 pm I was talking to D on the phone.  He owes me money and I was trying to figure out when I can get it.  So he pissed me off.  I started eating some candy.  Like 200 cal worth.  And cookies.  Like 3 so maybe 300 cal, maybe more, maybe less.  Added on to the 360 cals I already had.  And then I left to go to Iowa.  My plan was to be late to see D.  He always shows up late so I figured I would too.  Mostly to see what he does.  About the time I should be there he calls.  I usually wait til he's like 5 min late before I call him.  And he asked the exact same questions I always would.  Are you almost here? And How much longer?  And I gave him the answers he gave me.  I'm almost there.  And I'll be there shortly.  And I showed up 15 min late.  So I'm not in a good mood and D expects me to be all happy and what not.  I had just wanted to get my money and go.  He kept saying later and asking what's wrong.  Eventually he got me to relax and stuff.  He wanted to get me Chinese.  I told him I wasn't eating.  That's why I came to Iowa.  So I wouldn't have to eat.  Then he ate some of his food and I just sat there.  Then we watched some TV.  And I started to want to binge after a while.  Binging means purging.  And D kept asking me if I wanted Chinese.  I said I would rather have pizza than Chinese.  And then I said no I don't want anything because I shouldn't eat.  And eventually a commercial came on and made me want pasta.  So after a few min I decide we can go to the grocery store and get something to eat.  But he has to eat with me because otherwise I would feel weird and I get to purge.  He was ok with that.  So I bought a brownie and a pasta thing that I just had to microwave for the two of us and some pop.  And we ate and I purged and I got most of it up.  D just doesn't want to watch.  Fine with me.  D's toilet is disgusting, which probably helped make purging easier.  I used a pen because that's what I had.  So I had maybe 1000 calories yesterday.  I'm still 118-ish today.  I'm going to try harder to follow my meal plan today.  I'm going to try to do some exercises when I get home too. I really want today to be a really god day.  I want to wake up tomorrow a pound lighter.  I may make a meal plan for tomorrow later too.  Well, I gotta finish getting ready for work.


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