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Sunday, April 24, 2011

I woke up around 7 am and stayed in bed for like an hour hoping to go back to sleep.  Didn't manage to go back to sleep.  Got up and read some blogs.  Went down stairs.  My mom gave me Easter candy.  She said it was all safe to eat because she had "sampled" at least one of everything.  Fatass.  She had bought like 7 bags of candy and divided it up between me, my dad, my sister, and her boyfriend.  And my mom brought out the bad and was like "see?" and there were like 10+ wrappers.  She had to have eaten like 500+ calories.  Probably more.  Fatass.  And I ate like 4 Butterfinger eggs.  Like 42 cals each.  So like 168 cals.  And then I had some cereal.  Maybe 200 calories, but probably less.  Then my dad left.  Then my mom left.  I weighed myself.  121.  Gross.  I'm a fucking fatty.  I made some tea and drank it.  I went and purged.  I probably didn't need the tea, but I figured it would help everything come up.  I got up almost all of it.  I still feel fat.  Purging made me feel hungry.  I'm not going to allow myself to eat until 1 pm or later.  I will allow 0 cal drinks.  Nothing else.  I'm going to try to feel D most of my Easter candy.  It's way too many calories for me.  I have a lot of cleaning that I need to do.  My arms are sore from carrying/playing with my daughter.  I need a good workout.  I need to get my weight under control and start losing weight again.  I need to get back down to 116.  So frustrated/stressed/depressed/ect/ect/ect.

~Kes

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