Monday, April 18, 2011

Relaxed Finally

I broke the fast like an hour ago.  Frozen yogurt.  Then I got home and there were blondies (chocolate chip cookie bars).  So I ate like 1 1/2 depending on how big your 1 would be.  And a glass of milk.  I'm at less than 600.  I say it's good.  I was talking to D.  I've told him about my, uh, eating habits.  Like fasting and binging/purging and he doesn' completely understand but he's ok with it.  He doesn't know what anorexia is or bulimia.  He doesn't understand the concept or why anyone would do it or anything.  He isn't from the U.S.  He is used to people paying money to gain weight, not lose it.  He is from Africa.  But D says as long as I'm happy with my weight, he's happy with it.  Even if it is 20 pounds underweight, he is ok with it.  I told him to tell me when he thought I was getting too thin. He said he would.  He said he would be ok with me binging and purging if we lived together.  Happy :).  I could lose weight easy then.  And be in control of it.  I'm going to tell my boss that I'm quitting tomorrow.  I think I'll finish the pay period which has like 10 days left.  Then D is going to be filling out job apps with me so we can both get decent jobs and move in together.  He puts up with so much shit and I love him so much for it.  And in a non-creepy and completely different way, I love the people who follow this blog or at least read and those who comment and everything.  Before I started this blog, I never would have been able to go more than 5 hours without eating at least a little something.  It seems easier with a blog to distract me and other people to keep me motivated.  The distraction this creates is why I write more than one post a day.  At least my posts aren't terribly long every time.  And sorry for the shitty, bitchy posts I write.  I'll try to be less bitchy.  Doubt I can though.  I am trying to comment more but sometimes I lack words.  I should probably quit rambling and go to bed, so I will quit rambling, read some blogs, and go to bed.


1 comment:

  1. Wow thats really nice of him!
    Good luck finding a new job :)
    Stay strong,
    Lottie x