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Saturday, April 2, 2011

SO TIRED!

I  worked.  From 9 am until 5:30 pm.  I had one 10 minute break.  I'm exhausted.  Bed soon.  Like when I'm done tying this.  Breakfast was like 500 cals.  Had water and gum while I worked so like 15 cals.  And mashed potatoes and gravy, turkey, and a diet for dinner.  So like, I have no clue how many calories and I'm to a point where I just don't give a fuck.  I ate like half a brownie and some dry cereal and like 10 dark chocolate chips and like 10 pretzels like an hour ago.  Now I'm drinking some tea.  I have to work again tomorrow.  Tomorrow will also be hell.  I need a day off.  Monday, why aren't you here already?  I need a new job so fucking bad.  I've worked like 15 or 16 hours in the past two days.  It's kind of ridiculous.  I really hope I lose some weight from all the work I've been doing.  Last night I was taking a bath and I saw that I have stretch marks on my calves.  ON MY CALVES?!  Like WTF?  I've never been that fat.  Stomach I understand.  Boobs I understand.  Hips I understand.  Thighs I kind of understand.  Calves?  NO.  Like great.  I'm going to have to live the rest of my life showing like no skin because it's all to hideous to show.  My arms are scarred.  My thighs and calves have stretch marks.  My stomach and boobs and hips have stretch marks.  I have like no skin that I can show.  Ever.  FML.  I'm so fucking gross.  I don't know how any one could stand to look at me.  I'm miserable.  I need some major changes in my life soon.  Otherwise I don't know what will happen, but it probably won't be good.

~Kes

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