what do you consider as the absolute fattest weight you can acceptably be?
You mean now? I don't want to have to go above 115 again. And even that would seem like too much. But if I was wanting another kid I would probably get my weight up to about 120 (in a healthy way) before I try so that I know my body is healthy enough to handle it. But I don't want another for at least 5 years (or at least that's how I see things now).
what part of your body do you like most? and dislike most?
Uh... I like my arms I guess. They aren't that bad. They used to be bigger but when I was pregnant all of my weight kinda went to my legs and stomach area and my arms got smaller. I dislike a lot... My thighs are big, my butt is small and flat and I hate it, my stomach isn't flat and is covered in stretch marks (does anyone know any good lower ab exercises??? that's like my main stomach issue... I can't get that flat!!!), I don't like my boobs... I just wish they were like perkier? (anyone know how to fix that? without plastic surgery?)
would you every have plastic surgery if you had the chance to? what would you change?
I would get a tummy tuck (saggy stomach from being pregnant... it's all stretched out and gross looking) and I would get a boob lift. I would get implants if my rib cage was bigger (like if I wore a 36 instead of a 32 I would).
do you ever wish you weren't disordered?
I do sometimes. I wish I could just quit. I have too many problems to be able to have good relationships with people (friendships, dating sort of relationships, family relationships, ect). The anxiety and everything becomes too much to handle at once and I don't know how to deal with it.
if your family found out about your ED and intervened you and gave you an ultimatum, that you either get help or they'll cut ties with you, what would you do?
Cut ties. I dislike my family like a lot. I would rather get through all of my problems on my own. I've been to counseling and been in inpatient for depression and cutting and suicide attempts and none of that ever helped. I believe that you can't get better until you are ready to and want to. If they made me go, it would end up being a waste of money and everyone's time because I would either still be disordered or end up disordered again. I would rather fix everything on my own when I am ready not when people tell me to fix everything.
when you see a really fat person (i mean morbidly obese), do you feel pity for them or disgust?
It would depend on the situation. When I was working at Burger King, families would come in and there would be like 5 in the family or whatever. Like the parents and young (like 2 yrs - 7 yrs) kids. And they would order a Triple Whopper meal (large size) for everyone in the family. So the 2 yr olds would get a Triple Whopper meal. And yes, the kids would be very big. I would feel pity for the kids. The adults I would feel disgust towards. The adults were the ones making the kids fat. The kids were too young to know that the food would make them fat and everything. The kids don't know any better than to eat what they are given but the parents should know that what they are feeding their kids is making them fat and is not healthy for them. I feel disgust if the person is old enough to know what is healthy and what isn't and can make their own choices. If the person is young and can't make the choices I feel pity. If a person is old enough to make their own choices and is eating a salad with full-fat dressing and drinking a large (non-diet) Pepsi or whatever I would feel disgust. If they were eating a salad and had a side of healthy dressing and a water I would feel pity and hope that they manage to get back to a healthy weight. So it really depends on the situation.
where do you get you thinspo?
Tumblr. I follow fashion blogs and thinspo blogs and some like summer blogs or whatever. I follow any kind of blog as long as there are what I would consider thinspo pictures.
A couple comment responses because I really don't have much to say and these are the ones that I could actual come up with something to say back to (if that makes sense):
Sarah - There are some dresses that can hide lumps and bumps and things. Ruched dresses work for most body shapes and there are some others that will work depending on body shape. I don't wear dresses that often though. You've got plenty of time to find a dress and lose weight though.
nicky anabelle - I had braces but I don't remember if I purged then or not. They weren't very fun to begin with. It took like 4 years before I found out that you aren't supposed to brush your teeth for an hour after purging. My teeth have so many problems...
Well, I'm tired. I don't know my weight. Uh... I bakes brownies this morning. Probably gonna try to do some exercising later since I haven't in like forever. There was a kitten over here last night. I want to name it Dotty because it has two dots on it's back. It's mostly white with what looked like black on it's face and tail and those two dots. But it ran off so I never got a good look. It was really loud though so it could be a tomcat. In which case, Dotty wouldn't be a good name. I put Chunky's collar and leash on my sister's cat and took her outside last night. She enjoyed it. That cat is strange. It has no idea what to do when she gets outside. She was scared at first. Well, that's all my excitement...
I have too many things running through my mind. And I forgot to welcome my new followers again! Welcome! So much running through my mind all of the sudden for no reason when I was going to read blogs and comment. Maybe I can focus later. I need to get some things figured out.... Tomorrow I will probably be fairly busy though. I have to go to town to see about a job app and then dentist and I need to fill out more job apps and exercise (since I haven't been) and several other things.