Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm not worried about posting pictures.  I would explain but that would end up getting super long.

No one will catch me weighing myself or food because I only do that when no one is home.  I don't want to risk getting caught.  My dad's scale isn't meant for food and will do grams in even numbers only.  It does lbs and oz (to the tenth).  It's decent.  If it was meant for food I doubt it would go up to 55 lbs.

I have a filling on a tooth coming loose so I am going to the dentist at 8:20 am to have it at least looked at.  It's a rather large filling so I don't know what the dentist will want to do.  I may not get a chance to weigh myself.  I'm not sure.

Been having a massive stomach ache.  It's been killing me for hours.  I can't sleep because of it.  Hence the late night/early morning post.

My mother asked me if I had lost weight earlier.  I said I didn't know.  We were talking about the weather and how all of the sudden we are in an excessive heat warning starting like tomorrow through like Thursday or something stupid like that.  Then out of nowhere - "Have you lost more weight?"  "I don't know."  And I go back to the weather.  She doesn't know I weigh myself daily if possible.  She's quite overweight and I swear she wants me to be overweight again too.  I do not need to go back to being a fat disgusting tub of lard.  I need to lose more weight.  I'm still in the fucking normal range.  Leave my fucking weight alone.

I'm having trouble focusing on much of anything.  I've been texting people but they seem to like to not text back so I gave up and decided to blog instead.  I'll try to get pictures later.  Now isn't the time.  And I don't know what the dentist will do so I may or may not take pictures of me.  I may post pictures I already have.

I feel bloated and gross because of the stomach ache.  Or the bloating caused the stomach ache.  I'm hungry but I'm afraid to eat anything because I don't want to make my stomach worse.  I'm wondering if I should try exercising.  I want to work on my legs.  But I don't know if my stomach will let me.  I'm depressed too.  I'm tired but I'm awake.  I need to sleep but I can't.  I probably sound like a whiny bitch.  D pissed me off yet again today.  He's pissed me off a lot today.

I think I'll delete the thinspo that I've posted from my thinspo folder and find some more.  Better than being a little whiny bitch because my stomach hurts.  I'd read and comment on blogs but I'd only be able to continue being a whiny bitch.  And trust me, it can get a lot worse than this.  I'm trying not to be too whiny or bitchy.



  1. hope both teeth and stomach will get better soon. i don't think working out is a good idea though ...
    my mom wants me to be overweight too. i am. but just slightly. and i will fucking drop weight! but she tries to talk me outa it ... don't give a fuck about her! you'll manage!

  2. aww i'm sorry about the dentist and the tummy ache! I have a paralyzing fear of dentists so the thought of having to see one terrifies me. I hope it's an OK visit there for you! And mothers! urgh... i hope you have a good day though and a wonderful weekend!! <3

  3. Yikes, I am sorry to hear that your teeth AND your stomach are hurting you.
    I really hope you get better soon!
    Hang in there. <3

  4. I hope you'll feel better soon. :)
    I was wondering, you said you're an atheist...
    Do you mind explaining what and how and ...?