Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Kinda scattered/random thoughts.  My mind is not functioning properly.  For various reasons.  I hope this makes sense though.

I had about 1200 calories yesterday.  My mother bought pizza for supper.  Barbecue beef.  Not sure how many calories are in it, but pretty much guaranteed to be a shit ton.  If it wasn't for that, it could have been a decent day.  I estimated the pizza at 800 calories.  I had 1 2/3rds slices.

I weighed 112 this morning.  I bought some groceries after work yesterday.  Mostly healthy or semi-healthy stuff.  I bought 3 boxes of healthy cereal, 3 boxes of Nutrigrain bar things, a package of caramel corn rice cakes (for a sweet low cal treat), reduced sugar oatmeal, plums, grapes, green beans, and whole-wheat pasta. I think that was all I bought.  I needed things that I could take to work so I could eat something on break or after work so I wouldn't come home and binge.  The more healthy food there is, the more likely I am to eat it and stay away from junk.  I hope...

My sister has the car I normally drive because she was going to go look at a car in the Cities.  So I am either stuck at home or driving a car with no insurance.  And "don't open the passenger door because it will break".  I feel lazy so I'll probably stay at home.  It's hot out too.  The high is supposed to be like 94 degrees.  So I'll probably stay at home.  I didn't fall asleep until like 1 am and I woke up like 5 times before finally getting up at 8:30 am.  So I'm tired.  I should try to do a little exercising.  Like some push ups, squats, lunges, and crunches.  I need to start exercising again.  It hasn't been too long since the last time I exercised, but it's been long enough.

Monday I have my appointment at Planned Parenthood.  I'm hoping I can get on bc and not have to pay a lot.  I can't really afford much right now.  Since I bought groceries, I don't know if I have any money that I can spend.  I don't know if I can even afford to get my hair cut.  I'll have to figure out my budget again.

I don't know what's for supper.  I'm hoping it's healthy and low cal.  My moods have been all over the place.  I need it under control but I threw away my pills so I can't really control them.  I don't know how.  I'm a mess.  Tomorrow will be one year since I left for Colorado.  It's making things difficult.  I left on August 25th from Iowa.  I got to Colorado on the 26th.  That night I got drunk and lost.  On the 27th, I OD'ed.  So that's part of the reason I'm so scatter-brained.  So yeah.  I can't deal with it all right now.  I'll just post some pictures and shut up now.

My hair:



  1. i like your hair :-) i don't think it needs cut... i wish hair cuts werent so expensive though... i only get my hair cut like twice a year or less maybe. stay strong girl!!! if you ever need to vent or anything just email me... hope you feel better!!

  2. I think your hair looks nice :) The red is really red and that is so cute.., I think you would look good with the cut you were talking about- but I think you look really good with the length you got now too.. :)