Anyway...
I'm not waiting to see AA because of my weight. I would LIKE to be 112 or less, but if I'm not 112, then I'm not. I'm waiting like 2 weeks because AA is gone for a week and I work. AA's phone is shut off so the only way I can talk to him is on Facebook. So things need to be planned. It's going to be like a 3 hour drive to go see him and then 3 more hours back so I would have to do it on my day off. I work the rest of this week and AA is gone Thursday until like next Tuesday or Wednesday. So if I get Mondays off, he will be gone on my next day off so it would have to be the week after that. So the 19th would be the easiest and best day to see him. It's about convenience, not weight. If I weigh 112, that would be great, but even if I weighed 125 pounds, I would still go. I would LIKE to be 112 and there is enough time for me to get to that weight, but I didn't pick that date so that I could have time to lose weight. I was hoping to go see him Monday until he told me he would be gone so then I had to push it back another week. Apparently a lot of people got confused on that.
I ended up going shopping with my sister yesterday and then ended up in a really shitty mood yesterday so I kinda quit reading/commenting/blogging yesterday. I was in a bad mood earlier and I was working so I haven't been around today. Right now I'm kinda in a neutral sort of mood. I need to shower and go to bed though. I mainly got on here to clarify the AA thing and to let you all know that I will be working 10 am until 10:30 pm tomorrow so I won't be around. But maybe the day after? I'm planning on weighing myself tomorrow morning. If the scale says 116 or above, I'm liquid fasting tomorrow. Meaning less than 250 calories from liquids. If the scale says 115 or less, I'm going to have about 700 calories from food (Greek yogurt for breakfast, a noodle bowl thing for lunch and a noodle bowl thing for supper) and probably 150 calories from drinks. And depending on how that goes, I'll do the Thursday afternoon through Friday afternoon fast. I need to feel like I can control something. The fasting is for more than just weight loss. I need to know that I can control myself. I'm hoping it will give me a renewed determination to kick my addictions' asses. I found myself looking up OTC drugs that can get a person high. Just to find none that sounded like they would do what I wanted. And I found myself wanting to cut earlier today too. I need a renewed determination to fix my half-assed plan and to actually put in the effort and everything. I'd have to want to bad enough. I need to want to do it again. I need to keep track of when I get triggered and what triggers me so I can figure out what to do. I never thought about what I would do if I wanted to cut or take pills/drugs while I was at work. I never planned that so my plan failed pretty much right away. Like I said, it was half-assed. J was supposed help me revise it and shit and he never did. He just told me it looked fine. So yeah... Anyway, I would like to be able to read and comment on blogs, but I won't have much time. I've been waking up at 7 am everyday. I'm trying to get on a normal sleep/wake cycle. Like wake up at 7 am and go to bed at like 11 pm is my goal. But right now, it's usually bed at 10 because I'm tired from waking up at 7 and I've been waking up a couple times during the night. I'm hoping that it will help me be able to schedule blogging time and exercise time and everything eventually.
This posts just somehow feels unlike my other posts for some reason. Maybe it's my mood... I don't know. It doesn't really matter. I'll post pictures of the stuff I bought shopping yesterday and the day before when I get the chance to do a post again. It seems like so much work right now... I might do a quick update in the morning with my weight and whether or not I'm fasting, but it'll be short. I'll probably do pictures Thursday...
Ok, enough of my ramblings and nonsensical whatnots...
~Kes
And: What's your favorite piece(s) of exercise equipment that costs $25 or less? I want to buy some but I don't know if I should buy some weights or kettlebells or resistance bands or an exercise dvd or what. I need something to motivate me to workout.
i hate when there is so little time and so much to do. hope you sleep better soon! i think sleeplessness is one of the symptoms or whatever of our eating disorderedness. i sleep weird too. except i have to wake up at 6am to get things done.
ReplyDeleteexercise equipment for less than 25.... maybe my leg weights? or the bands... the leg weights i can wear around the house to burn some extra cals but the bands can be used to create a pretty good work out for muscle strength and stretching. how about a hula hoop? great for exercising while watching tv... i bet you could get all three for 25 somewhere...
stay strong and positive! it is hard to kick a bad habit but you can do it!!
<3
How much weight do you want? There are a lot of things around the house you could use as weights, for example big bottles of water. My favorite exercise equipment is probably my yoga ball (I use it for resistance training instead of weights sometimes). I think it was around $5 and came with a pump and dvd. As far as DVDs go, I recommend any of the Exhale Core Fusion workouts or Element ballet conditioning, they were all under $10, but you might be able to find them online. I also love my Nike+ sensor for running and am anxiously awaiting my hula hoop. And bands, you can definitely get them inexpensively, $5-10 or so.
ReplyDeleteSorry for no comments in a while. Been busy and stuff, so working my way through yours just now. I probably wont be able to be bothered doing this on anyone else's but I like your writing style so I always start with yours when I'm catching up :)
ReplyDeleteA liquid fast, at work? Could be a dangerous combination. Not only what you're doing to your metabolism (I am really not one to talk but I know I can't follow my own advice). Also, if it's a deterrent it will be noticeable if you feint then the doctors ask all the probing questions etc. (I realise this may be a little late, but still putting it in there).
Cutting in work... Could happen but less likely if you keep yourself busy.
and http://www.amazon.com/Jillian-Michaels-30-Day-Shred/dp/B00127RAJY/ref=cm_lmf_tit_1_rsrssi0
looked up the american amazon XD but I've heard this is brutal but gives amazing results, ordering mine from the UK amazon when I have the money. :)