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Sunday, September 4, 2011

I'm hoping to read and comment on blogs tomorrow.  I don't have to work so I'll try to get caught up and everything.
Food has not been good.  And since my mom took vacation time off work, she's been home so I haven't gotten to weigh in.  I probably wouldn't want to anyway.  I might weigh in Tuesday and check the damage, but I may wait.  It'll probably depend on how tomorrow goes...
I'm planning on going and visiting AA sometime in the next few weeks.  I want to be 112 or less by then.  But it might be 2 or 3 weeks yet, so nothing to worry about.  Yet...  He's going to be gone from like the 8th until like the 13th so I might go see him on like the 18th or 19th or something.  It kind of depends on what works out.  I'm hoping he can help me figure things out and make a good plan to get everything on track.
I'm thinking about fasting (planning on it, but plans may change if my work schedule changes) from when I wake up (7 am-ish) Thursday morning until like 5 or 6 pm on Friday.  I work from 4 until close Thursday so I should be able to do it.  And Friday I work from 10-4 so I'll eat supper when my parents do on Friday but no food until then.  Gum and drinks less than 5 calories per cup are allowed.  I might keep something like a cereal bar in the glove box of my car or in my purse or something just in case I feel like I'm going to pass out, but I want to keep it pretty much out of sight.
I bought some stuff after work today.  A shirt, a pair of earrings (long dangle-y with pink feathers), a shirt for work, a reusable water bottle thing, a small blue 7" skillet, a small green 6.5" sandwich griddle thing, and some make up.  I might post some pictures tomorrow or the day after.  I'm lazy right now...  And I bought some feather hair extensions off of eBay.  I should be getting them either Friday or Saturday.  Maybe sooner, maybe later.  Can't ever tell when you live in the middle of nowhere....
Yesterday there was a really bad storm while I was at work.  Torrential rains and 60 mph winds.  It was like 1 hour until I was supposed to get off work.  I decided to (jokingly) ask if I could go outside to get carts.  A few people look at me weird and say I can if I really wanted to.  I told them I was joking.  And 10 minutes later this girl who does the clothes and shoes and things decides it sounds like fun to go get the carts, so we go and get them.  She had already ran out to her car once to get something so she was already wet.  So we go out and get carts.  The water was halfway up our shins in part of the parking lot.  And then there was a cart stranded over by employee parking so we decide to go get it.  The water over there was up to out knees.  It was quite fun though.  I have a picture on my phone of me after we got the carts.  I tried to set up mobile on my blog and text it on here, but it wouldn't let me.  Stupid US Cellular...
Weightless had wanted me to link her to a post that explained the whole married thing.  I couldn't find one.  I think there is one, but I gave up looking.  I'll just explain in this post.  Ok so, D is my husband.  I met him on the internet back in like November/December and I met him like in person in December.  He lived fairly close by (about 40 miles away).  He lives with his brother (he did when I met him and he has the whole time I've known him).  And now they live like 25 miles away.  D is from Ghana and moved to the US.  He got his Bachelor's degree in Ghana and was wanting to get his Master's degree.  Before I met D, he worked at a factory and was saving money and he was planning on going to school.  D ended up exhausted and ended up in the hospital.  All of the money he saved ended up going to pay his hospital bills.  As long as I've known D, he's never really worked much.  He kept telling me he was trying to regain his strength.  With D being from Ghana, he needed to do something (like get married) to stay here because he has been here for like 2 years.  So I married him thinking he would actually get a job like he kept saying he would and do all of the things (like meet my family and start saving money for school) he said he was going to do.  I married him him April.  He keeps getting job offers and he will occasionally take one (he keeps claiming he's waiting for something better) and then he will quit the job after like 2 weeks.  And he bitches about everything.  He's over dramatic.  He has to have expensive clothes and shoes and shit.  Like he's super high maintenance and I'm ok with the $10 jeans and $5 shirts and $15 shoes and everything so it clashes.  There are a lot of things that just don't work and it's not worth trying to fix the relationship.  I'm not allowed to tell anyone about being married.  He never wanted anyone to know that I was dating him.  And he didn't want anyone to know that he's 5 years older than me.  I just want a divorce.










~Kes

7 comments:

  1. Aww, well if you want to see AA sooner than later, then try and not let your weight hold you back from going :(
    Try to not fast? I mean, I think it’s good you’re gonna keep a cereal bar with you just in case, but you need food to be able to function and live :/
    That’s nice you bought lots of stuff, it’s good to treat yourself (: and that sounds like intense weather too! :o maybe it’s got something to do with Hurricane Irene? Hopefully it’ll be nicer today . . . have a good day, xxxxxxxx

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  2. im fasting today and tomorrow! It is a good way to shed a couple pounds quick and gets me back on track after a bad day or two or three. good idea about keeping the cereal bar nearby. fainting is not good...
    i hope things get better with the husband issues.
    <3

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  3. I have actually been wondering about the whole story with D.. I have been through something pretty similar when I was around 20.. The dif was that the guy was little brother of the guy a really close friend of mine was married to.. She was all crying and i felt pressure to helping them.. 1 month later they found out that the shithead was married back where they were from and that the only reason why he was there was to use his brother for money...

    That in it self is onething- but then I ended up not being able to divorce him cause he went AWOL... I applied for it and got in return that I had to wait for a year for them to see if they can find him before they could OK my papers.. It was really shitty, and the "oh I have been married once, but not really married, just did it for his papers" convo with the guys I was with after the shit was really awkward....

    But I guess I really learned my lesson.. *sigh*

    I hope you figure it out and can just get rid of him soon.. Doesn't really sound like he is good for you..

    <3

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  4. I love storms. All we seem to get is just the rain though. Occasionally we get wind that will knock you on your butt lol.
    I can't imagine the husband situation. That seems so hard to be in.
    Try not to let your weight get in the way of you wanting to see AA. xx

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  5. i hope you get things with D straightened out, it's not fair to just be stuck with someone like that. you deserve better <3
    also, you should go to AA anyways, it will make you feel better :)

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  6. I love a good torrential downpour! That sounds like a lot of fun.

    I'm glad you explained the D thing... I was sort of wondering about that. It sounds like a rather obnoxious situation, to say the least. you deserve better. xx

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  7. That whole marriage thing seems highly frustrating :( If I were you, I'd push for that whole divorce business and just get that loser out of your life. He's dragging you down.

    Go see AA ASAP! Don't wait to lose those couple extra pounds before you see him, go see him NOW! You never know what could happen while you wait.
    Stay lovely <3

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