Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I think I'll just keep trying to restrict and not try to fast tomorrow.  I'm thinking about having green beans, asparagus, 2 pieces whole wheat toast and 2 eggs tomorrow.  Maybe an apple or something too.  It depends.  Hopefully I'll get in a decent amount of exercise tomorrow too.  I feel like a mess.  Probably because I am a mess.  I need to get down to 110 asap.  I need to restrict and exercise and work.   I need to save my money and either move or go away to college or something.  I need to do something.  I need things going forward and looking up.  Soon.  Very soon.  I can't keep going with things the way that they are.  I keep thinking about buying cigarettes.  I don't really have the money right now.  I would when I get paid, but I really shouldn't spend my money on things like that.  It'll only make me want pills/drugs more I think.  I need to open a savings account and transfer most of my money into it when I get paid so I'll have less money to spend and can save it easier.  I need to do that when I get paid.  I think gas is the only thing I need to pay for with my paycheck.  So I'll need about $100.  If I can open a savings account and put in $300+ it would be a good start.  My check should be $450+ so that would even leave a little extra.  I'll probably need $850 (plus the cost of books and things) to do 2 classes at the juco that's in the town I work in.  I would have to go as an out of state student.  One juco in Illinois would cost me an extra $40 per credit hour (~$240 extra for 2 classes).  And the one that I went to after I graduated (and I absolutely hated it there) would cost $2 less per credit hour (saving me a whole $12) if I live in the district (which I'm not sure if I am in district or not but I think I am).  I would rather pay $12 and go to college that I may like instead of one that I hated.  And it would cost me more than $12 in gas to drive to get there.  That juco is 30-ish miles east of where I live and I work 30-ish miles west of were I live so that would make things difficult and involve a lot of driving. If I had a place to stay in Iowa, I would apply to work at Wal-Mart distribution for 4th shift.  Work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for 12 hours each day and then get Monday through Thursday off.  Make $15.50 an hour too.  It's almost worth applying for...  Should I?  I don't know.  I should just shut up and go to bed.  Pictures of skinny people and then bed for me.  Hopefully I'll be productive and be in a better mood and not so scatter-brained tomorrow.  I need to take some pictures and do a picture post yet.  Ok.  I'll shut up.


1 comment:

  1. This sounds so familiar it's scary. Going to bed always helps...or helps you put off having making a decision for a few hours. Stay strong girlie