Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I took two Dexatrim yesterday and that was it for diet pills.  And today I haven't taken any.  Mainly because I've been forgetting.  Probably because I've had AA on my mind a lot.  I told him last night that I didn't want to put a label on our relationship yet.  I'm just not quite ready.  After I see him a few more times, I'll probably be ready to call him my boyfriend.  As long as things keep going the way they are.  Everything just feels right with him though.  D called me yesterday wanting me to wire him money.  Fuck.No.  I don't wire money.  Don't even ask me to.  The dumbass lied about how much a job was going to pay.  He said it would be $9 or $10 per hour and then he said it was $8.  That's not bad.  20-25 mile drive.  Working for an hour would pay for the gas so the rest would be profit.  Instead he went to Iowa City (which is like 2.5 times as far away) for a job that pays $9 an hour.  So he would have to work for about 2 hours to pay for the gas to get there.  Dumbass.  He's supposedly has a bachelor's degree in economics so he should at least be able to figure out that he's wasting his time and money.  So I told him that if he needed money for gas to get to work that I would put the gas in his car (so I know for sure that the money went to gas).  No.Fucking.Way.Am.I.Wiring.Money.  So he went up to Iowa City and didn't tell me and said he was already there so I can't put the gas in his car.  Well, he fucked himself over.  I had no cash and my bank fucks me if I wire money.  So there's no fucking way.  And I know he won't pay me back for like eons.  So he fucked himself over with that one.  And he asked me how long I plan on working at K-Mart.  Apparently I can see the future?  And he asked if/when I could move and whether I wanted to move to Iowa City.  Again, I can apparently see the future?  I have no fucking clue how long I will be working at K-Mart.  Til I get a better job?  Til I move away?  I don't fucking know.  When am I moving?  I don't fucking know.  When am I going to have the money?  Do I want to live in Iowa City?  Uh, I've never been there dipshit.  And another dumbass question from D.  He asked me where I was.  I told him I was STANDING by the river on the riverbank out in the country.  His question - So are you driving?  Yes, I drive while standing.  And I drive on the riverbank.  Because that sounds safe.  AA found it entertaining.  And AA now knows that D is super nosy.  D called AA my boyfriend.  I hate when D automatically assumes any guy I talk to is my boyfriend.  That's what led me to say talk to AA about me not wanting to label our relationship yet.  We hugged for like 10 minutes before I kissed him that first time.  AA is ok with me losing some weight but I don't know what he would consider to be too much.  He said 10 lbs was fine when I asked him so that would put me somewhere around 106-108.  He's ok with me taking diet pills as long as I don't take too many.  If the box says 4 max a day, 4 is the most he wants me to take.  If the box says 8, then he doesn't want me to take more than 8.  He isn't ok with me purging or cutting.  But he is ok with me doing certain drugs/pills.  Which could be a problem.  The one drug I want to try (ecstasy) he won't let me do.  I should probably talk to AA and tell him to not get me pills or drugs ever.  Or maybe 1 or 2 (ok, maybe 3) times a year...  Ok, I'll shut up about AA before this entire post end up about him.
There's a guy that started at K-mart yesterday.  So I'll just call him new guy for now.  But I think he might like me but I suck at figuring out if a guy likes me or not.  Anyway, so I think he does.  And I told K that.  She said I should invite him to go to bars with me and her and other people for my birthday because he said he parties like every weekend.  I said I might tomorrow or something if I can do it in a non-awkward way.  K invited a guy from work.  I was going to say no guys because her now ex broke up with her and he was possibly going to go and AA can't leave Iowa unless his probation officer knows, but she invited her ex's like best friend and I don't care if he goes.  I don't give a fuck who goes anymore.  I'm getting drunk and probably going to hit on random guys.  But K is supposed to make sure they are good looking.  So that's going to probably end up interesting.  I don't think too much has happened other than that...  Ok I think I'll post personal pictures instead of thinspo tonight because I have a lot of non-thinspo pictures to post.  So random picture time.  And I have a shit ton more pictures yet too...

 Thought about wearing these shoes with the dress when I go out on my birthday, but I've got another pair that I'll probably wear instead.  These zip in back and are kinda harder to walk in so me drunk walking in these may be bad.  And I  may have trouble getting them off while drunk.

 It's a table runner that I have on my dresser but I put it on my bed because my sheet was white so you could see the design.

 It's a black tank with black gem/rhinestone things. It doesn't look as good in the picture but it's the best one I took.
And the other feathers I have for my hair.  I put the skinny orange on that's at the top of this picture in.  So I have those 10 plus the two from the above pictures with the feathers.


  1. Those shoes are SHIT hot - must wear often!! Xo

  2. i LOVE these shoes! wow! and the feathers, post a pic with them in your hair. I'm sure it's gonna look really really awesome <3

    i live with my parents as well, so these extreme things really are not easy to follow ... gonna be way more easy when we live alone :D

  3. i love those feather hair extensions, and the one you put in looks awesome!! Love the shoes too!