My depression is still fucking horrible. And better yet, I weighed a fucking huge 131.5 lbs at the doctor tonight. I know I don't weigh quite that much because I had my shoes on and fully clothed and I hadn't peed and I had eaten all day so I had all days food in me and everything. But still. Just the thought that I weighed in at that weight. I was 20 lbs lighted in July. I need to get back down to that weight. 111. Then lower. My diet will now consist largely of cranberry juice (no more than 4 cups a day - aim for 4 though) and water until my UTI/kidney infection is gone. I probably should have said the reason I went to the doctor.... I thought I had a UTI and well, I do, along with a kidney infection. I only started questioning if I had a UTI a couple days ago. How did it get that bad that quick? Who knows... Either way, I get to try a new prescription. I love trying something new to see if I have an allergic reaction... Not really... So yeah... Commence crash dieting. I have an appointment Tuesday for antidepressants. It's in the morning but let's see how much weight I can lose by then, shall we? My mindset has been very self-destructive lately....
~Kes
hey girl! sorry i have been away...
ReplyDeleteI gained too :-( but i am on my way back to the lovely 111 too.
oh i hate utis... they are the worst!! cranberry really does work though! chugging it can make it go away in like 24 hours... i drink the light version.
still with the husband? hows that going?
feel better sooooon!!!!!
<3
Hi Nes, ive actually been quite awful at the whole blogging thing for the last couple of months but im now all caught up on your posts. I know you're battling depression at the moment and just wanted to check in and say what I can as a complete stranger who knows only the tiniest amount of what it must be like to be you lol.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I have gone through my own depression and only sort of coming out of it now. Tbh deep down I know I was depressed for the entire of 2011 with various break downs in-between so I know it's awful no matter the source.
As a community were here to help each other out with support - especially in weightloss and whilst everything else is going shitty (I myself am HUGE, a relationship-phobe, broke, in wayy too much debt, living with a woman i hate, friendless, a university drop-out,cant find a man to love etc) the one thing we have to look towards is at least being happy with the way we look. you're already at 131 20lbs away from 111, i'm 179 wanting to get to the same number. Think new year new me - the shit will always remain but one of these days, months, or years you'll have a lot more to be happy about and depression will be a mere ink stain on your quilt of life.
Come on, race you to 111 !! ;)
Lots of love,
J
xxxx
111...hm...sounds like a lovely number. I'd love to get to know it better. Sigh. Yeah, after all that you cannot really weigh 131. No way. I'm a sucker for room temp/or hotter apple juice. *sips some right now* That's what I'm running on, lol. Stay strong love <3
ReplyDelete-Emma
Hey girl, no worries your going to loose this weight. And you know it was mainly bloat so minus 2 lbs from that. What is a UTI and how do you get it?
ReplyDeleteUTI and I are mortal enemies.... basically every time I have sex... HELLOOOOO INFECTION haha (tmi? oh well) BUT on the plus side: cheaper and probably less intake for you here: Cranberry pills... once your current UTI goes away, go out and buy cranberry pills (any drugstore has them) and just follow the instructions- i started taking one a day and I haven't gotten one since! :)
ReplyDeleteGoodluck! <3